12/04/03
If you were a cosplayer, what kind would you be?
The way I see it, there's two types of cosplayers. There's the kind that just want to make a half-assed attempt at sewing a costume together, just so they can say they had their "walk on the wild side" once, too; and there's the kind that pays meticulous attention to detail, pulling off the most fantastic costumes that you thought could never be done right.
When it comes to Strider cosplayers, sadly, there are many, many more of the latter kind than the former. Let's take a look:
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This picture was taken at the 2000 Otacon. Yes, I did hang onto it for three years, just to make a point.
This guy is a waste of skin. The hair is wrong. The weapon belt is wrong. The shoulder guards are wrong. No chest kanji. The wrist and ankle wrappings look like they were lifted off of a padded armrail. Where's Hiryu's midriff sash? Where's the other end of his scarf? Where's Falchion?
DO NOT make a costume that looks this bad. Ever.
LSCM RATING: -10.0 out of 10
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I forget how I obtained this picture. No matter.
Falchion...check. Midriff sash...check. Chest kanji...check. Correct hair color...check. Correct hair *texture*...no, but forgivable.
That's about all this guy got right. His shoulder guards are apparently broken, his wrist wrappings are made out of leftover athletic tape, and he's substituted a bandanna for Hiryu's scarf. For shame, people. Fie for shame.
LSCM RATING: 3.0 out of 10
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Again, I forget how I came by this picture.
Apparently Elfeater and Nando have the same sensibilities. However, Elfeater gets extra points for A) being a girl, 2) making an EXACT REPLICA of Falchion, and D) having better...er..."chest kanji." ^_~
And yes, I do realize I messed up that three-count. I did it on purpose. Email me and tell me which movie that three-count's from.
LSCM RATING: 5.0 out of 10
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It's SHAFT! *queues the Isaac Hayes theme music* This picture was taken at one of the Katsucon's. I forget which one.
Scarf, check. Midriff sash, check. Belt, check. Wrist guards, check. Chest kanji, check. Shoulder guards...passable.
He loses points for having no weapons, but regains them just for being black. I totally dig it when African-Americans get into Strider. The only question is, can *you* dig it?
LSCM RATING: 5.0 out of 10
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Good 'ol J. Beckwith himself sent me this one.
*scans checklist* Uh...he doesn't fit ANY of the criteria, really, except the chest kanji and the shoulder guards. And those he fits only loosely.
But, he does get points for creativity...and for having the, um, BALLS (so to speak) to wear an entire bodysuit of blue spandex.
LSCM RATING: 6.0? out of 10
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FINALLY, someone with some sense!
This guy got just about everything right, except for the fact that he has no hook, and that he's wearing loafers. Loafers! Hiryu wears clogs, man! Get it straight!
LSCM RATING: 7.0 out of 10
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I have no idea who this is, but I'm a hair's width away from making him my personal hero. This is easily the best attempt at making Hiryu's weapon's I've ever seen. Especially that hook!
Scarf, midriff sash, belt, wrist/shoulder guards, chest kanji...they're all here, and done well!
He loses points for having the wrong shoes, but that's about it.
LSCM RATING: 8.7 out of 10
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If I thought the last one was good, I think Wayne's is even better. He's got it almost perfect.
Everything looks great, except for that midriff sash. Could use some work, man.
Only thing he loses points on is having worse weapons than the last guy. Great attempt, though.
LSCM RATING: 9.0 out of 10
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Alright, if there's one thing LSCM does not tolerate, it's unauthorized impersonation of our own personnel. This guy has now entered my personal hitlist.
Note the fact that he used Photoshop tricks and special angles to hide the fact that his Hien costume TOTALLY SUCKS.
If I ever catch any of you, my readers, dressed up like this, I will shoot you down on the highway. Down like a DOG on the highway, with a bunch of lace at your neck. This I swear.
LSCM RATING: 1.0 out of 10
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...this concludes my rant/review of Hiryu's cosplay appearances. For the love of God, people, please take some pride in your work! This is the man we're talking about here! Hiryu himself! Do him justice!
I leave you to ponder that. That and the subject of my luck. See, in searching for more information on Cannon Dancer, I stumbled across this godsend of a review. I also purchased a huge lot of ancient Nintendo Powers recently, one of which contained the long-sought-after NES Strider review. Another (the Ninja Gaiden issue) actually had this poster in it.
On top of that, I found out that G4, a satellite TV station broadcast by gamers, for gamer, recently aired a segment on Strider. The segment featured reviews of all Strider games AND an interview with Motomiya Kikaku himself! G4 is only broadcast in the western US, as far as I know, so only Cali people would be able to watch it.
But the question you should be asking yourself right now is, "How lucky can Scion get?" Think about it. Let me know if you can get a hold of that Strider segment. Then come back and grovel at my feet.
Or you can just flip me the bird. I probably deserve it. ^_~
In any event, I'm out. 'Til next time!
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